“Why Me?, Why Us?, Why Her?”
How often does the thought “Why Me?” cross your mind? Well, for me, it seems to cross my mind every day. Most often I find myself driving to work, alone, and start to think about all of the things going on in my life – college, the family business, my wife, …but mainly my daughter Nola. It never fails that when the thought of her enters my mind I begin to cry. These tears are tears of heartache and sadness mixed with tears of triumph and happiness. I always wonder “why her”. Why does such a sweet little girl, MY daughter, have to deal with all of these issues? Why did she have to be born with Hydrocephalus? Why did she have to endure shunt surgery to relieve the pressure in her head at two days old? Why two more additional surgeries in less than 2 years for this same issue? Why now, on top of this, does she have to be profoundly deaf? Were these decisions already made for me early on in my life? If so, why was I not prepared?
For the greater part of two years she has been unable to hear her mom and dad say “I Love You”. I am positive she knows that I love her, but I want her to really hear me say it and truly understand the meaning behind the words. She has been unable to hear the little things in life that people, like myself, take for granted. How does such a little word like “Why?” have such a difficult meaning and so hard to understand? I am just wanting to know “Why Her?”. I know I will never receive the answers to these questions, but for some reason I seek them anyway. Some days it makes me angry when I think about these things. It makes me angry that Nola will have a steeper hill to climb than her peers. It makes me angry to see what she has been through in only two short years. Now, at two years old she will endure another surgery, a surgery longer than the previous three combined. Yes this surgery will be a monumental one because she will be able to hear me say “I Love You”, but it will also be a long process. Nola will receive the gift of hearing through Cochlear Implants. I could not begin to imagine what all of this would be like without the support of my wife and our families. I truly understand the meaning of family, more now than I ever did, and will be forever grateful for both my wife’s parents and my own.
It is easy for the sadness to fade away when I begin to think about how amazing MY daughter is. She has overcome many obstacles and there are many more to come. She touches the hearts of everyone that meets her. She is extremely intelligent and is exceeding every milestone. This is just the beginning of the life of an amazing little girl.
People may look at my family and feel sorry for us. I hope this never happens – be happy that my wife and I have the most amazing little girl anyone could ever ask for. These past two years have been an amazing journey, so thank you to those who have been riding along with us.
How often does the thought “Why Me?” cross your mind? Well, for me, it seems to cross my mind every day. Most often I find myself driving to work, alone, and start to think about all of the things going on in my life – college, the family business, my wife, …but mainly my daughter Nola. It never fails that when the thought of her enters my mind I begin to cry. These tears are tears of heartache and sadness mixed with tears of triumph and happiness. I always wonder “why her”. Why does such a sweet little girl, MY daughter, have to deal with all of these issues? Why did she have to be born with Hydrocephalus? Why did she have to endure shunt surgery to relieve the pressure in her head at two days old? Why two more additional surgeries in less than 2 years for this same issue? Why now, on top of this, does she have to be profoundly deaf? Were these decisions already made for me early on in my life? If so, why was I not prepared?
For the greater part of two years she has been unable to hear her mom and dad say “I Love You”. I am positive she knows that I love her, but I want her to really hear me say it and truly understand the meaning behind the words. She has been unable to hear the little things in life that people, like myself, take for granted. How does such a little word like “Why?” have such a difficult meaning and so hard to understand? I am just wanting to know “Why Her?”. I know I will never receive the answers to these questions, but for some reason I seek them anyway. Some days it makes me angry when I think about these things. It makes me angry that Nola will have a steeper hill to climb than her peers. It makes me angry to see what she has been through in only two short years. Now, at two years old she will endure another surgery, a surgery longer than the previous three combined. Yes this surgery will be a monumental one because she will be able to hear me say “I Love You”, but it will also be a long process. Nola will receive the gift of hearing through Cochlear Implants. I could not begin to imagine what all of this would be like without the support of my wife and our families. I truly understand the meaning of family, more now than I ever did, and will be forever grateful for both my wife’s parents and my own.
It is easy for the sadness to fade away when I begin to think about how amazing MY daughter is. She has overcome many obstacles and there are many more to come. She touches the hearts of everyone that meets her. She is extremely intelligent and is exceeding every milestone. This is just the beginning of the life of an amazing little girl.
People may look at my family and feel sorry for us. I hope this never happens – be happy that my wife and I have the most amazing little girl anyone could ever ask for. These past two years have been an amazing journey, so thank you to those who have been riding along with us.
2 comments:
When I read this in the xmas card I did cry. It is what goes through my head all the time . Why did our precious little girl have to get Hydrocephalus. I don't think we will ever know why it happened to us.
That was beautifully written. I will be praying her surgery goes well. That is so great that Nola will be able to hear.
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